I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
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