How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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