Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
