Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
