I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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