After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Randomize
