told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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