When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
