It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
