idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
