wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Shame - the story of my life.
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