He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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