you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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