Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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