that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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