I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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