I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
