dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
