So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
