No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
