I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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