i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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