My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
