8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
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I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
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Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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