I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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