my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
