My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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