I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
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i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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