put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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