I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
