if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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