when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
