I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize