Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
