I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
