my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She's the barista slut.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
