it wasn't lemon gatorade
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize