maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
