ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
