Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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