I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
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I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If I die, sorry about rent.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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