He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
