if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
