i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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