Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
