I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
