Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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