lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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