he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
