Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
