It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
