...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize