Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
