duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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