I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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