I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
