you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
3 2 1 whiskey
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
