Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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