its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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