Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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