I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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