Already got asked if we're dating
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
