we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Randomize
