Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
as a side note pls kill me
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
