PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
ok first of all what the fuck
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
