Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I did not marry a roomba.
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