: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize