At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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