This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
