i permit you to call me
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize