you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
