well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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